Go to Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, wait in line at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) or Quicken Loans Arena, or go just about anywhere else, and you are bound to see a significant number of people with their faces buried in their mobile devices. While constant connectivity provides convenience and helps pass the time, many people are also spending time on their phones when they could (and, many experts would say, should) be spending time with their families.
Of course, people do not just use their smartphones when they are out in public. When it comes to staying connected (or reconnecting) with spouses and children, more and more frequently, mobile devices are getting in the way at the dining room table, in the car, and in the bedroom. According to data from the Pew Research Center published in 2015, nearly half of all smartphone owners say, “they couldn’t live without,” their phones. A study reported by Today.com also found that:
More than 70 percent of adults studied used their phones during meals with their children;
More than 50 percent of children think their parents use their phones too often; and,
Nearly one in three children say they, “feel ‘unimportant’ when their parents get distracted by their phones.”
High rates of social media use on smartphones have also been linked to increased rates of divorce. Another study similarly found that spouses’ inability to unplug was leading to, “significant[] disrupt[ions] in their relationships, couplehood, and family lives.”
Connectivity: The Conversation (and Relationship) Killer
In short, the issue with constant connectivity is that it means entertainment and status updates are replacing family communications. Where spouses, parents, and children used to spend time talking to one another, now they are spending time watching videos, checking up on friends, and texting or direct-messaging with online acquaintances. Not only does this lead to a lack of meaningful conversation; but, in many cases, it can also lead to feelings of isolation, jealousy, and lack of intimacy.
All of this points to the reason behind the study results cited above: While mobile devices keep us connected with the outside world, too often they get in the way of truly connecting with family. We like our phones because they make life easy; but, in the most important aspects of our lives, the reality is that they often do more harm than good.
How Can You Help Your Family (and Yourself) Unplug?
So, how can you help your spouse, your children, and yourself pull the plug during family time? Today.com offers this expert advice:
Figure out which triggers (i.e. phone calls, text messages, or social media notifications) are most distracting to you, and make it a point not to respond during family time.
Pay special attention to your children’s (and spouse’s) bids for attention. Know when they want to interact and do not let your smartphone get in the way.
Schedule no-phone family time. This could include meals, car rides, and special outings to go to the park or get ice cream.
Schedule time to check your phone. For example, check when you wake up and when you get home from work; but, do not carry your phone around constantly, and do not bring it to bed. If you can, unplug after work entirely.
Laubacher & Co. | Divorce and Family Lawyers in Cleveland, OH
At Laubacher & Co., we provide experienced and compassionate legal representation for spouses and parents in complex family law matters. If you would like to speak with an experienced divorce or family law attorney in confidence, please call (855) 522-5569 or request a free consultation online today.
Collaborative divorce and mediation are two different methods for establishing the terms of a divorce outside of the traditional courtroom process. While collaborative divorce and mediation are similar in certain respects, there are several key differences, and understanding these differences is an important first step toward deciding which option makes the most sense for your divorce.
How Collaborative Divorce and Mediation are Similar
First, let’s focus on the ways in which collaborative divorce and mediation are similar. We touched on one already: When you resolve your divorce through either of these methods, your divorce stays out of court. You (or your attorney) will still need to file your marital settlement agreement with the court in order to dissolve your marriage, but this is a formality that does not involve any sort of adversarial proceeding. As a result, collaborative divorce and mediation both offer:
Lower Cost – Both collaborative divorce and mediation tend to be far less expensive than divorce litigation.
Less Conflict – Collaborative divorce and mediation are both predicated upon a willingness to work together toward the common goal of ending your marriage.
More Flexibility – Unlike litigation, in collaborative divorce and mediation the spouses set their own schedule, and both processes can conclude far quicker than courtroom litigation.
Privacy – Keeping your divorce out of court also allows you to protect the privacy of your personal, family and financial information.
Key Differences Between Collaborative Divorce and Mediation
Despite these similarities, it is important not to think of collaborative divorce and mediation as equal alternatives. Some of the key differences include:
1. Involvement of a Neutral Third Party
In mediation, the spouses and their attorneys work with a neutral third-party, called a “mediator.” The mediator helps the spouses explore possible solutions and see the issues from each other’s points of view, but does not make any decisions for them. This role does not exist in a collaborative divorce.
2. Commitment to the Process
Although it will often be in both spouses’ best interests to see the mediation process through, neither spouse is committed to achieving a result through mediation. This is contrasted with collaborative divorce, where the spouses agree up front (and in writing) to stay true to the collaborative method. If one spouse chooses not to continue with mediation, all options are on the table. If one spouse pulls out of a collaborative divorce, both spouses are required to hire new legal representation in order to proceed with litigation.
3. Complexity of the Divorce
Although each situation is unique, the collaborative approach will often be best when the spouses have significant assets to distribute or complex financial issues to resolve in their divorce. During a collaborative divorce, the spouses can choose to hire accountants and other experts to help guide their decision-making. In contrast, mediation often works best when everything is on the table and the spouses simply need to come to terms so that they can end their marriage. But, once again, these are broad generalizations that will not cover every possible scenario.
4. Cost and Duration
Finally, while collaborative divorce and mediation can both provide significant cost and time savings compared to litigation, each has its own cost and time considerations as well. For example, with mediation, the spouses must pay the mediator’s fees and work with the mediator’s schedule. In a collaborative divorce, the spouses will need to pay professional service fees for any experts they engage. However, the fact that the spouses retain control over the process means that they can also control the costs – and deciding what is necessary requires an assessment of the nature and complexity of the issues involved in the divorce.
Questions about Divorce? Call for a Free Consultation
If you are contemplating a divorce and would like more information about the options you have available, we invite you to schedule a free consultation with one of our experienced family law attorneys. To request an appointment at our Cleveland, OH law offices, please call (855) 516-1347 or get in touch online today.
For many parents, one of the most stressful aspects of facing life after divorce is figuring out how to deal with a former spouse on child-related matters. Your parenting plan says how things are supposed to work on paper; but, when it comes to dealing with your former spouse over the phone or in person, animosity and discomfort can create challenging circumstances. Increasingly, child psychologists and other experts are emphasizing the importance of co-parenting in early childhood development. With co-parenting, divorced parents jointly play active roles in their children’s lives rather than each handling child-related matters independently. Co-parenting does not have to mean spending time with your former spouse after your divorce (though this is an option for many families), but it does mean finding a way to work together for the benefit of your children.
The Process of Co-Parenting
We want to make sure you know that co-parenting can be successful with practice. Here are five tips that can help make co-parenting work after a divorce:
1. Put Your Children First
When it comes to co-parenting, your children come first. No matter how you feel about dealing with your former spouse, if you keep this in mind, it will help you through the process. Whether you are struggling to make yourself pick up the phone or are trying to work through a difference of opinion, always try to make sound and rational decisions with your children’s best interests in mind.
2. Avoid Putting Your Children in the Middle
If you and your former spouse are at odds on a particular issue (such as deviating from your standard custody and visitation schedule for a vacation), keep any disagreements solely between you and your co-parent. Avoid putting your children at the center of your dispute, and do not force your children to “pick sides” with one parent or the other. Parents should also generally avoid disparaging one another in front of their children and blaming each other when issues arise (i.e. “We can’t go on vacation because your father is being difficult.”). Don’t forget that your marital settlement agreement may provide guidance for resolving your dispute as well.
3. Acknowledge and Address Your Emotions
Co-parenting after a divorce is an emotional process. While it will often be best to check your emotions when dealing with your co-parent in front of your children, it is important not to suppress or ignore your emotions altogether. You can find plenty of information about effective coping mechanisms online, and many newly-divorced parents find it helpful to speak with a therapist or other professional.
4. Focus on Effective Communication
One of the biggest hurdles to successful co-parenting can also be one of the easiest to address: Making sure you and your co-parent communicate effectively. In addition to leaving emotions out of the discussion, taking the time to organize your thoughts and carefully say what you mean to say can go a long way toward preventing unnecessary and time-consuming confrontations. This applies to in-person, phone, text, and email communications.
5. Start Small
Finally, if you are apprehensive about co-parenting, start small. Adjusting to life after divorce is a process, and no one expects you to become an expert on co-parenting immediately. Focus on finding little opportunities to collaborate with your co-parent, and continue to branch out as you become more comfortable with your new family dynamic.
Laubacher & Co. | Divorce Attorneys in Cleveland, OH
With offices in Cleveland, the attorneys at Laubacher & Co. provide experienced and individualized legal representation for divorcing spouses throughout Northeast Ohio. If you have questions about what to expect during or after your divorce, we can help. To schedule a free, no-obligation consultation, please call (855) 522-5569 or request an appointment online today.
Mobile Devices May Be Driving Us Apart, Not Keeping Us Connected
/in Divorce /by Eric LaubacherGo to Cleveland Hopkins International Airport, wait in line at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) or Quicken Loans Arena, or go just about anywhere else, and you are bound to see a significant number of people with their faces buried in their mobile devices. While constant connectivity provides convenience and helps pass the time, many people are also spending time on their phones when they could (and, many experts would say, should) be spending time with their families.
High rates of social media use on smartphones have also been linked to increased rates of divorce. Another study similarly found that spouses’ inability to unplug was leading to, “significant[] disrupt[ions] in their relationships, couplehood, and family lives.”
Connectivity: The Conversation (and Relationship) Killer
All of this points to the reason behind the study results cited above: While mobile devices keep us connected with the outside world, too often they get in the way of truly connecting with family. We like our phones because they make life easy; but, in the most important aspects of our lives, the reality is that they often do more harm than good.
How Can You Help Your Family (and Yourself) Unplug?
So, how can you help your spouse, your children, and yourself pull the plug during family time? Today.com offers this expert advice:
Laubacher & Co. | Divorce and Family Lawyers in Cleveland, OH
At Laubacher & Co., we provide experienced and compassionate legal representation for spouses and parents in complex family law matters. If you would like to speak with an experienced divorce or family law attorney in confidence, please call (855) 522-5569 or request a free consultation online today.
Differences Between Collaborative Divorce and Mediation
/in Divorce /by Eric LaubacherHow Collaborative Divorce and Mediation are Similar
First, let’s focus on the ways in which collaborative divorce and mediation are similar. We touched on one already: When you resolve your divorce through either of these methods, your divorce stays out of court. You (or your attorney) will still need to file your marital settlement agreement with the court in order to dissolve your marriage, but this is a formality that does not involve any sort of adversarial proceeding. As a result, collaborative divorce and mediation both offer:
Key Differences Between Collaborative Divorce and Mediation
Despite these similarities, it is important not to think of collaborative divorce and mediation as equal alternatives. Some of the key differences include:
1. Involvement of a Neutral Third Party
In mediation, the spouses and their attorneys work with a neutral third-party, called a “mediator.” The mediator helps the spouses explore possible solutions and see the issues from each other’s points of view, but does not make any decisions for them. This role does not exist in a collaborative divorce.
2. Commitment to the Process
Although it will often be in both spouses’ best interests to see the mediation process through, neither spouse is committed to achieving a result through mediation. This is contrasted with collaborative divorce, where the spouses agree up front (and in writing) to stay true to the collaborative method. If one spouse chooses not to continue with mediation, all options are on the table. If one spouse pulls out of a collaborative divorce, both spouses are required to hire new legal representation in order to proceed with litigation.
3. Complexity of the Divorce
Although each situation is unique, the collaborative approach will often be best when the spouses have significant assets to distribute or complex financial issues to resolve in their divorce. During a collaborative divorce, the spouses can choose to hire accountants and other experts to help guide their decision-making. In contrast, mediation often works best when everything is on the table and the spouses simply need to come to terms so that they can end their marriage. But, once again, these are broad generalizations that will not cover every possible scenario.
4. Cost and Duration
Questions about Divorce? Call for a Free Consultation
If you are contemplating a divorce and would like more information about the options you have available, we invite you to schedule a free consultation with one of our experienced family law attorneys. To request an appointment at our Cleveland, OH law offices, please call (855) 516-1347 or get in touch online today.
5 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting After a Divorce in Ohio
/in Divorce /by Eric LaubacherThe Process of Co-Parenting
We want to make sure you know that co-parenting can be successful with practice. Here are five tips that can help make co-parenting work after a divorce:
1. Put Your Children First
When it comes to co-parenting, your children come first. No matter how you feel about dealing with your former spouse, if you keep this in mind, it will help you through the process. Whether you are struggling to make yourself pick up the phone or are trying to work through a difference of opinion, always try to make sound and rational decisions with your children’s best interests in mind.
2. Avoid Putting Your Children in the Middle
If you and your former spouse are at odds on a particular issue (such as deviating from your standard custody and visitation schedule for a vacation), keep any disagreements solely between you and your co-parent. Avoid putting your children at the center of your dispute, and do not force your children to “pick sides” with one parent or the other. Parents should also generally avoid disparaging one another in front of their children and blaming each other when issues arise (i.e. “We can’t go on vacation because your father is being difficult.”). Don’t forget that your marital settlement agreement may provide guidance for resolving your dispute as well.
3. Acknowledge and Address Your Emotions
Co-parenting after a divorce is an emotional process. While it will often be best to check your emotions when dealing with your co-parent in front of your children, it is important not to suppress or ignore your emotions altogether. You can find plenty of information about effective coping mechanisms online, and many newly-divorced parents find it helpful to speak with a therapist or other professional.
4. Focus on Effective Communication
5. Start Small
Finally, if you are apprehensive about co-parenting, start small. Adjusting to life after divorce is a process, and no one expects you to become an expert on co-parenting immediately. Focus on finding little opportunities to collaborate with your co-parent, and continue to branch out as you become more comfortable with your new family dynamic.
Laubacher & Co. | Divorce Attorneys in Cleveland, OH
With offices in Cleveland, the attorneys at Laubacher & Co. provide experienced and individualized legal representation for divorcing spouses throughout Northeast Ohio. If you have questions about what to expect during or after your divorce, we can help. To schedule a free, no-obligation consultation, please call (855) 522-5569 or request an appointment online today.